I Don’t Like Being Told What To Do!

In psychology, and being an account manager or salesperson, there is a technique called 5 questions.You ask what someone wants, and basically each time they respond, you respond with, yes, but why do you want that?

Client: I want more sales
Account Manager: What will that mean for you?
Client: I get more money
Account Manager: What will you use the money for?
Client: Pay off debts
Account Manager: And when the debts are paid off?
Client: I’ want more sales’d like a new car
Account Manager: And after that?
Client: I have always dreamed of going on the Trans Siberian Railway

In subsequent conversations, they smart account manager keeps mentioning the ultimate goal and how they are getting closer.

Likewise when someone says they don’t believe in climate change (many conspiracy theories also fit, like depopulation, like 15 minute cities):

Climate change is a hoax!
Why do you think that?
They have an agenda so they can get rich!
How does that agenda affect you?
They are taking away my right to have a petrol-fuelled car!
But electric will be cheaper, less maintenance, cleaner and faster… why complain?
Because I don’t want anyone telling me what car to drive!

I reckon that is a key reason for why people attach themselves to conspiracy theory. They are feeling disenfranchised and no longer have control of their destiny – especially many middle-aged white men. Anything like being told what to do can get them angry, because they already barely have any control left (they think).

Which might explain Trump. He rambles on for hours and basically never says anything that triggers the feeling of being told what to do. It helps that he uses basic language.

Other politicians talk like politicians (hard for some to understand, makes them suspicious) and they often actually talk about realities, which involve being told what to do, like environmental regulations.

So keep this underlying fear in mind when talking to your MAGA friend. Deep-down they don’t like being told what to do, and reassurances might help.


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